Recently, I’ve been trying to listen to the universe or rather open up to what is going on around me instead of trying to control it.
This is hard for me! As it is for all of us.
There are the little things and then, also, the big things.
I’m going to first start out with the little things. About two months ago, I had nine puppies in my house—-let me back up by saying that my partner and I have two dogs who mated and had a litter of puppies—
So, I had nine puppies in my house, at this point they were smaller(6 weeks old) and upstairs in my living room. My partner was staying at my house a lot of the time so his dog [our dog] Sam was also at home with me. Now, luckily, I work remotely so during this whole time I’m home with the dogs but also working, so there were times I needed to go out or just get out of the house. My partner doesn’t have the luxury of working from home so I would have all the dogs with me and he would be gone for the day [during the week].
Having nine puppies and two other dogs is a lot of work, just to preface this right off the bat, and on top of it–it’s also mentally draining! Thankfully, it was only a three month span of time and all the puppies found wonderful homes (close by and with friends) so everything over all in the entirety of the process went well. But, there were days that dragged on more than others.
Sam is only one year old, so as much as he is a wonderful, loving and mostly obedient dog, anytime I would leave the house for any amount of time, he would end up getting into something and tearing it up. Sam is not a threat to himself when he’s home alone, but he’s an 80 lb bernedoodle and in the winter time- he gets bored. So, Sam tends to go after anything with our scent on it (no matter how well we cleaned up the house) and just tears it up or destroys it enough to be damaged (such as shoes, paper products, anything wooden or whole bags of treats). You can never really tell what he’s going to destroy; he could never touch your book sitting on the table for months but then one day suddenly destroy it.
So, one day I came home (after being out for just two hours) and he had gone after all three decks of my favorite oracle cards as well as some of my dry sage (I had harvested from my garden the previous year).
I was very upset. Some of the cards were gifts and they meant a lot to me. My very first deck was also amongst those cards. A few days after that, he tore the button on (my favorite) old pair of Ugg boots. I have had this Bailey Button pair for around 10 years on top of it all, so now it’s difficult to find the same maroon pink color and the buttons on the sides so you can wear them and roll them down or pop them up.
I obviously got over it, but, over the course of the next two months I didn’t buy any replacements and I sat with it.
Coming back to listening to the universe or the quiet messages that speak to you when you’re not numbing out to social media or busy—--
I began to think about it all a little bit deeper.
Stay with me (even if you don’t believe in this stuff it still can apply).
Animals always have a way of speaking to us, whether they represent whatever we need to hear or if they show us through their actions. Sam was tearing up old things of mine I wasn’t letting go of.
*I like to include the metaphor the boots present to me in itself; old walking shoes- I needed to put myself in newer shoes. I will be buying some next fall haha but I think the metaphorical aspect is something I am actively working towards where I often need encouragement.
As someone who is spiritual and a big advocate of the messages animals send, I finally ended up buying myself a new deck of oracle cards. My new deck is handcrafted and simple, it’s less cards than a typical deck and the theme is primarily made up of emotions or feelings; a picture followed by a word describing emotions or action to take regarding emotions etc.
It’s called, “Your Feelings Are Validated” if you want to look it up on Etsy.
Anyways, ever since I got this deck, my card spread is way more intuitive and straightforward but also encouraging. And it got me thinking, maybe the significance of the three decks being destroyed was a sign of coming into a new beginning of understanding myself.
Now, what I mean by this is that oracle cards are initially designed to help an individual put their energy into the cards so they can therefore pull out cards intuitively that speak to them (maybe channeling the energy of spirituality depending on beliefs or just a mind challenge).
It takes a person years and skill to truly be able to comprehend the spiritual practice and be able to interpret the messages, but one can also use references or written guides to help distinguish the meaning and how it ties into their life.
Ever since I got this new deck, I have had so much more enjoyment than I thought I could out of a deck as well as I feel as though I’m able to apply the cards in a way that not only fits into current situations or aspects of my life but it’s also very positive.
The message I felt from the universe to me with the detriment of my previous decks was, “that is old and no longer relates to you– “here is something that does” or “here go find something that does so that you grow.” When I wasn’t making that decision actively on my own (when you have 11 dogs at home it’s hard to focus on yourself) Sam stepped in - a helper from the divine haha.
My point being, when we change a way we view aspects of our lives that aren’t something we can physically comprehend or understand without use of a therapist (or an outside perspective), we not only see things differently, but we react differently as well because we are more aware.
So, the oracle cards are more like a tool as they don’t hold the answers but they can enable us to dive deeper into the unconscious part of ourselves (metaphorically or physically speaking) asking us to address aspects of ourselves that we might not even think about or notice (spiritual or not). Not saying everyone needs oracle cards but it's the act of figuring out what can help you [tools] grow in your life journey (right now).
For example, when we hear certain words, they make us think of certain things/ experiences that remind us of ourselves, right?
I guarantee, the average human is not constantly thinking about, “Where do I feel sadness?” or, “What does abundance look like for me/to me?”
Or, even receiving words of affirmation like, “Find what gives you joy?” or, “Do something creative.”
Some people don’t even know where to start, if they were confronted with questions like that, because as a society we prioritize work and money over our mental health. We might even feel lazy or physically unproductive if we take time to relax and unwind to understand ourselves deeper. We as a society have a hard time with manifestations for ourselves that aren’t physical.
But, when someone is being vulnerable, being open to hearing words that tie into their life- which happens when pulling oracle cards randomly– and then prompting them with words and artwork that focus them on relating it into their life, they begin to see themselves differently and almost always for the better.
Whether the universe really spoke to me or not, I was still prompted to address a part of myself through an experience I didn’t have control over. Instead of buying the same decks over again, I bought something new, for this specific time in my life, that I enjoy even more and has become a next level tool in my own journey of life.
Now onto the bigger things—
The solar eclipse that we had this past week was the highlight of the year according to social media, am I wrong? It was also a time for doomsdayer’s, conspirators, the extremely religious, and the fear-mongers to shine as well.
From the earthquake, last Friday, to the war starting in the Middle East, the world has been heavy.
Amongst all this craziness, my dog, Freyja, was getting spayed on the same day as the eclipse.
For the first two weeks leading up to her spay I had such severe anxiety.
I played around with some of the conspiracies, not that I believed them but you have to wonder that maybe there's some truth to what people are saying with the way the economy has been and the broadcast of millionaires building bunkers.
I also felt even more anxious once the earthquake happened, which is so not like this side of the earth over here in Chester County.
And, the most important aspect, this was the first time Freyja was getting any sort of surgery– she’s my baby!
Yes, having her spayed was super important but also if any sort of mass chaos thrown into the mix that could jeopardize her operation made me feel so out of control. I was also on a time limit because she was due for her next heat coming up in May and we don’t want another litter of puppies!
Here is another example of the universe or ethereal powers of life knocking at my door saying, “Hey Amy, change your thinking and use these subtle prompts to work through your trauma.”
Now, as someone who has been diagnosed with PTSD, this was an area of my life I could use to either heal or go back a few steps. If you know anything about PTSD, when events occur, in the person who has it, that mimic anything similar to their trauma—-- it can make that person feel manic and drop back into a PTSD state of no control. It can also [if they are working on it] help them overcome major trauma by living through it —but with a new outlook and way of handling it.
Let me preface by saying, we will never have complete control over our lives, but we can address situations in a way to redirect the outcome or manage it. We can do this in a way where it doesn’t take over our lives completely to the point of not being able to function. When it’s harder to do the latter, we need outside help and tools, but like anything we learn in life–it takes time.
So, back to the eclipse, I stuck it out and took her to her appointment, trusting that everything would be fine that day. I used this as an opportunity to think and put out the energy that this was not only a hurdle over my past traumas, but also a new beginning. As the psychology community would call, “exposure therapy.”
In this form of therapy, psychologists create a safe environment in which to “expose” individuals to the things they fear and avoid. The exposure to the feared objects, activities or situations in a safe environment helps reduce fear and decrease avoidance.
Overall, 2024 has been a rollercoaster so far—to say the least— but instead of falling into old habits of thinking, I’ve been listening to the snippets of wisdom from the universe happening around me and changing with it.
Apocalypse definition:
meaning revelation or to uncover/reveal
-or in ancient Greek it means "lifting of the veil."
Eclipse definition:
the total or partial obscuring of one celestial body by another
These words might be something that makes us nervous or scared, but they're only metaphors for the changes to come allowing us to see the whole picture- maybe not within the world but starting within us.
Thanks for reading 🙂